Virginia Dollinger: Avoiding a Contentious Divorce

It can be a harrowing experience to bring up the idea of divorce with your spouse. At some point, if you believe divorce is imminent, the conversation is going to have to happen. However, there are certain things you should never do or say during this conversation, as it could hurt you later on.

The following are a few examples:

Never make promises about your assets: Avoid promising to leave the home and move elsewhere, or make promises about certain pieces of property you have. Breaking these promises — or making promises you never intended to keep — could come back to haunt you. Only discuss these specifics with your divorce attorney.
Never discuss value of specific property: No matter the type of item, you should never offer opinions as to what a specific piece of property is worth. There are many complications that could arise if you do so. Instead, a lawyer will help you get objective appraisals of the value of your property.
Never discuss child custody or visitation: Regardless of what you want to happen regarding child custody after your divorce, you should never attempt to discuss this issue during the initial divorce conversation. These decisions are best made by a judge or in formal negotiations in the presence of your attorneys and a trained mediator.
Don’t let your emotions get the best of you: This is much easier said than done, as the conversation is likely to be emotional in nature. It can be tempting to hurl insults or yell, but keeping your cool will prevent your spouse from being able to claim you are emotionally unstable and/or unfit to have custody of your kids.
Don’t say anything on social media: Keep everything related to your divorce off social media. In fact, consider avoiding social media as much as possible during your divorce, as even innocuous posts could be taken out of context by your spouse’s legal team to be used against you. You can temporarily disable your accounts until your divorce is finalized.

How You Can Navigate a Contentious Divorce

Divorce can be a complex legal process commonly wrought with emotional and financial stresses. Ideally, you would be able to negotiate a divorce settlement quickly and easily, but unfortunately that’s not always possible.

If you have reason to believe your upcoming divorce will be contentious in nature, there are a few things you can do to make sure you get through the process as efficiently as possible.

Always Take the High Road in Divorce

First, be sure to avoid responding to threats — as this is exactly what your ex-spouse wants you to do. If threats become severe or harassing, reach out to the police and have law enforcement officers deal with it rather than responding.

You should also establish a no-contact rule, except for email. You are more likely to react to verbal screaming and insults than you are text-based communication. Plus, through text, you always have a record of what your spouse is saying. If he or she acts abusive in an email, it will reflect poorly on him or her in court.

Rely on your Divorce Lawyer For Help

Don’t be hesitant to have your attorney serve as your intermediary. This can be the best way to navigate a contentious divorce, as it allows you to remove yourself — to some degree — from the emotional stresses of the divorce. Be sure to hire a divorce attorney who is patient and who will answer your questions and address your concerns quickly.

Free Consultation with Divorce Lawyer in Utah

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.